Chapter 16 is for our women. A follow-up to the dames of Egypt and how we love our gatherings, networks and chit-chats. The power in our homes with the men. The Wonders of our Ummah. We, the sugar and spice-loving ‘X-chromosomers’, as she calls us.😊Another aside, may Allah bless Sister Sadaf for she has truly taken every story, every line in the Qur’an and studied it with such in-depth knowledge.
As ladies, we love to get together, don’t we? It starts from a very young age when we have Ramadan parties and Eid celebrations, hanging out after exams, going to the beach, just us girls, sisters’ circles, then bridal showers, baby showers, naming ceremonies etc. There’s always an opportunity to have a get-together.But we know don’t we, how these gatherings can deteriorate into a hotbed of gossip, backbiting, nonsensical discussions, showing off, comparison in status and so much more. What was meant to be a harmless get-together, can very quickly become haram.
Think of the banquet the Azeez’s wife threw. What was the aim of that? To first prove her agenda was ‘righteous’ and to ‘get others to join her’. It was a grand feast to foster evil quite literally and these kinds of parties are thrown all the time. To show someone up, shame a second or to band together against another. Ladies, we are a fitnah. A temptation to the world if we are wrong and doing wrong but a shining light if we are right and doing right. We are a powerful gender. It is why our Lord asks the men to marry with care and pick the woman who is pious when marrying. An authentic Bukhari hadith states that the Prophet Sallahu Alayhi wa Salam, while addressing women folk said, ‘A cautious sensible man can be led astray by one of you women.’Now imagine, if we wielded this power to lead the family, the ummah, ourselves, aright instead? Let’s not be the manipulative lot, but the motivated ones. We know how driven we get when we want something right? Why not direct this skill to please Allah? Because we are a gender that likes to gather, make merry and have tea, why don’t you use these gatherings as places to share beneficial knowledge and do more for the Muslim community? Our sister acknowledges that in her younger days, she enjoyed the company of fellow sisters and understands the space it fills but as her eeman and knowledge grew, she realised what the lack of intentionality could do to her deen. In her older years, she has seen how being in gatherings of the Qur’an, hadith and industrious dialogue around the religion, have been helpful when things were low for her. She knows that we as women have the capacity to move mountains. We are the nurturers of this nation.
She warns that if you are a woman reading this, and you are someone whose husband is well placed in society, don’t spend your time on banquets that do nothing, that raise charities so that people can see your new hat and new shoes. Use your time for gatherings to raise yourself and the Muslim community, unrelenting, like the women of Egypt were.After the banquet, when the Prophet Yusuf wanted to come out of prison, he asked, “Are those women still out there?” Because they had been mobilised by Azeez’s wife. And he wasn’t sure if they were still out there waiting for him. Why don’t we put that same effort into mobilising for the good of the community?
And so she advises. These gatherings can be places of goodness. She testifies to the aid it has been to her when women come together to admonish, remind and learn. It’s in our nature to gather so why not make it ones of goodness? First, work on yourself, enhance your deen and character so that when we come together, what we emit is good musk and barakah not gossip and idle talk. Be the one that pulls people together, teaches and learns with people. And when you see any negative traits, shove them away from your nafs or step away from that person or thing that sets out to blacken your heart. Be decisive and resolute O dames of Islam. And we can truly be of immense benefit to ourselves and the ummah in sha Allah.
