When you hear the word ‘arrogance’, what comes to your mind?
For me, Shaitaan. You, who were created from smoke, given the honour to hang around the ones who were created from light, asked to bow to somebody created from clay by The One Who created all. And you face Him and tell Him, ‘Nah, you created him from clay.’ The arrogance is unbelievable! But remember, we, too, tend to be arrogant. We, too, tend to think, ‘I am better than this person’ in the most subtle or obvious ways.
Sister Sadaf, in chapter 13, talks about the fact that arrogance is one thing that can make or mar our deen. The Qur’an mentions in several places that Pharaoh speaks about who he is. “I am god, how dare you take another god other than me? You know I’m going to build a skyscraper to the heavens to talk to the god of Musa.” Pure arrogance.
You know you’re a true and true liar when you say ‘That’s my car over there, the Bentley. Yeah, bought it myself,’ knowing fully well it isn’t yours and hoping someone doesn’t show up and drive the car while you’re ‘displaying’ your possession. I am completely baffled at the one that goes, “I am the one that created the heavens and the earth.” I mean seriously, that’s the height of arrogance. You don’t even know how they came about. So, for me, Pharaoh takes the cake, when it comes to mankind and being arrogant, of course, among jinns, we know who holds that position firmly.
Kibr (arrogance) must not be present in a Muslim and Sister Sadaf shares a host of traits that we may use to check ourselves in the fight to avoid this huge sin.
1. Do we mock, ridicule and deride the message of Islam?
“Oh, polygamy in Islam? That one is not for me. I cannot do polygamy.”
The Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam says… Please leave me o, I’m not doing that one, I need a clean chin.”
I call it cocktail Islam, where you pick and choose what you want to do in Islam. This is arrogance, where you think that you’re above serving Allah as He has commanded. May Allah save us from this.
2. Do you consider yourself better than others?
Subhanallah. You’re driving on the road; someone is crossing, and you shout ‘Move jare. Can you even drive our car?’
Or ‘Why are you showing me how to park? Do you own a car?”
Your domestic help cannot share the same space of air, eat on similar plates or ‘deserve’ to sleep on the floor because they’re ‘…beneath you.’
Do not make these obstinate statements and Fa ’udhubillah, if it does slip in error, how often do you think of this as a sin and ask forgiveness?
3. Do you discriminate based on race?
Racism is the belief that someone’s race is superior because their skin is fairer, darker, basically just not like yours. What it breeds is unfairness, injustice and of course, anger from the so-called inferior race as they always feel like they need to keep proving themselves in the eyes of their ‘superiors’ and even to themselves. Either the aggressor or the one being oppressed, none is better except as regards their level of piety. This is a sign of arrogance for something you had no hand in its creation for Allah’s sake.
4. Do you love receiving praise?
We all love receiving praise, don’t we? “Oh, you’re so good at that. You’re so intelligent. Oh, that is so beautiful.”
It’s not bad to give or receive praise, but do you crave it? Do you love it so much that it becomes something that you want? Need? The Prophet ﷺ disliked it when people would stand upon his arrival at a gathering. So many of us do that. Someone’s walking in, and we all rise. Or we’re walking in, we expect everyone to rise. This is not the way of the sunnah.
Displaying your trophies everywhere. Come and see, I was five, I was six, I was seven, I’m married, I’m this or that and everything is on display all over the place. Be careful about rushing for praise.
5. Do you dress up solely to outshine others?
We know we do. Everyone’s going to be wearing that, I’m going to make sure I wear something else so I stand out. Sisters, we are heading to an all-women function, but you’re going to take a lot of time about what you’re wearing underneath so you appear as a queen once you put off your outer garment.
Be careful about garments that drag, and those that show that we are being lofty. Abdullah bin Umar said, the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, ‘On the Day of Resurrection, Allah will not look at the one who lets his garment drag along the ground out of pride. Abu Bakr Radiyallahu anha said, ‘Sometimes my garment slips down on one side unless I pay attention to it.’ The Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, “You are not doing that out of pride.’
6. Do you want to be greeted, instead of initiating the salam?
We do.
You see another Muslim person walking towards you, catch his eye and then keep waiting on who will say the salams first. That’s how you both pass each other and lose the opportunity of practicing this sunnah. Be the first. And yes, I know, the child should greet the adult, the one sitting should greet the one standing, but remember, the one who gets the most barakah is the one who initiates.
7. Do you expect and desire special treatment in gatherings?
‘They didn’t move me to the front row. As I came, that’s how they just left me.’
‘I sat in the back seat. Nobody even honoured me as I came in, they didn’t acknowledge I had walked in.’
Check yourself.
8. Do you dominate the conversation?
You walk into a room and it’s always about you. Like you’re the only one there. How much do you listen to other people? Do you enjoy listening to your voice?
9. Do you take immediate offence if criticised?
Nobody can correct you. Once anyone tries to admonish you, your nostrils flare, your face turns to stone and the person’s voice fails him/her. Or you begin to speak over the person coming up with counter-arguments and excuses, anything not to have to take the correction.
10. Do I refuse to sit on the floor, if necessary, or to eat simple food?
You come to a gathering, everybody’s trying to find a space on the floor, but you are walking through to find where you can sit in the front, because how dare they give you a seat on the floor?
You’re offered a simple meal when you go to a gathering and you turn up your nose and with disdain explain you don’t eat this.
A long list? Yes, but what’s the cure? Ya Ikhwaan, know your Lord and remember your origins.
Arrogance belongs to only Him. Pride belongs to only Him. Because when He says ‘I am the One’ he is not boasting, it’s a matter of fact.
Make Qur’an education, and recitation a daily part of your life, because it is naseehah; these reminders will keep pulling you back and reminding you.
Look at Allah’s signs, and take heed. Look at what has happened to people who have lived before you, and don’t exist anymore. People who were all of that, and now are nothing and remember that you are not secure from the plan of Allah. Take your time to ponder on those who came before you and do your best.
Wear ordinary clothes, even when you can afford more expensive clothes. Remember that whatever you are, and whoever you are, all of that will cease one day.
Be quick to admit your mistakes or concede when they are right. Apologise to them.
Befriend and occasionally keep the company of poor people. Honestly, this is a game-changer. Everyone has been created the same. The only thing that differentiates us is piety. This is what Islam teaches us. Find those who are not like you, visit them, eat their meals, experience how they live, and use that as a reminder, point of gratitude and charity for your Hereafter.
Give alms regularly.
At night, sit down and think:
1. What have I done today?
2. How could I be better?
Take account of yourself daily. Never forget that humility is a pathway to paradise.
Haritha Ibn Wahb Radiyallahu Anha narrated that he heard Allah’s messenger say, “Shall I inform you about the people of paradise? They comprise all the obscure, unimportant, humble persons. And when they take Allah’s oath that they will do something, Allah will fulfill their oath by doing that. Shall I inform you about the people of the fire? They comprise all the cruel, violent, proud, and conceited persons.” This is a hadith that you can find in both Bukhari and Muslim.
Finally, our sister ends with a beautiful reminder. A believer is likened to a date palm tree. It provides beneficial fruit permanently. Be someone who benefits people with words and deeds, whether in good or bad times. For as long as you breathe. Alhamdulillah.
Shall I inform you about the people of paradise? They comprise all the obscure, unimportant, humble persons. And when they take Allah’s oath that they will do something, Allah will fulfill their oath by doing that.