This is a very personal account from Sister Sadaaf😊. We thank her for being so vulnerable with readers.
Here are her thoughts below insha Allah.
As someone who spends a lot of time with the Qur’an, in pregnancy this was especially difficult for her. But even though she missed those periods, her previous learning stood her in good stead as her learning was held up during her difficulties. She encourages us to spend our mornings with the Qur’an.
﴿أَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ لِدُلُوكِ الشَّمْسِ إِلَىٰ غَسَقِ اللَّيْلِ وَقُرْآنَ الْفَجْرِ ۖ إِنَّ قُرْآنَ الْفَجْرِ كَانَ مَشْهُودًا﴾
[ الإسراء: 78]
17:78 Establish prayer at the decline of the sun [from its meridian] until the darkness of the night and [also] the Qur’an of dawn. Indeed, the recitation of dawn is ever witnessed.
The weakness she felt at that period despite the entreaties from people that women should be strong, it was normal, bear it etc. scared her. It was Allah telling the expectant mother in the Qur’an that this was expected and for it a child should be grateful, that made her understand that if her Lord had explicitly mentioned it, then she was going to be fine.
﴿وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ﴾
[ لقمان: 14]
31:14 And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.
Allahu Akbar.
Of the four women honoured by Allah, Mary, the mother of Isa Alayhisalam is a study in patience and pregnancy from the Qur’an. Most of us have our family, husbands, mothers and others to care for us on a hospital bed with some of the best and most experienced services money can buy when pregnant. Not so Maryam. But her story doesn’t start with birthing baby Jesus. It starts from the dua her mother made for a righteous child. She takes refuge in Allah from Shaitan and asks for blessings upon her. Make dua for your children, from conception till the day your soul is taken.
Imagine the throes of birth, the agony that Maryam went through all alone. Allah was there for her. He is there for every woman till she puts down her burden.
Sister Sadaafwas also grateful for the fact that when you look at people who are terminally ill, who have no way of bouncing back, pregnancy looks easier as it is a temporary illness for many. For the terminally ill who keep themselves going during their ‘weakness upon weakness’ it is another point of reflection for her and all of us. Indeed, with every hardship comes ease.
A big part of this chapter is how you should prepare yourchildfor the outside world. Science informs us that children can hear in the womb through the bones and umbilical cord. So, while the world is asking you to talk to your child, sing or play music, Sister Sadaaf asks, as do several Muslim teachers, that we play the Qur’an to our babies. She is even more particular – recite to your child in the womb yourself. She truly believes that children whose conscience is awakened by the Qur’an at this crucial time are more cognizant of the Qur’an and the remembrance of Allah, more obedient to Allah’s ways, intelligent, find it easy to memorise and do well in school.
Of course, she acknowledges that this is Allah’s Rahmah, but she believes that this has helped her with her kids.
An important note from our sister, when one has imbued themselves with the sounds of the Qur’an, there will be no place for music in your heart. Music and the Qur’an cannot reside in the same heart. Anyone who finds comfort in music, thisis because they have granted these sounds a space in their heart and so cannot find the optimum and more beneficial contentment in the sound of Allah’s words. And this is dangerous for us.
She quotes a narration by Nafi, who says that Ibn UmarRadiyallahu Anhuheard a woodwind instrument and put his fingers in his ears keeping away from that path. He then said to Nafi, ‘Oh Nafi, can you hear anything?’Nafi says no. He then took his fingers away from his ears and said,’ I was with the Prophet (SAW) and he heard something like this and he did the same thing.’ This is a sound hadith recorded by Abu Dawood.Enough said, Ya Ikhwan.
A quick recap:
– Have a relationship with the Qur’an as it will be your steady companion through all the shades of your life especially in adversity.
– Our children need duas from the minute the possibility of conceiving is had, when they have been conceived and through their lives.
– Recite the Qur’an to your unborn child. Avoid music.
– Embrace your weakness in pregnancy as The One who has given you this gift, acknowledges and will never abandon you. Your weakened state is a blessing.
Alhamdullilah.